Thursday, October 2, 2014

Home at Last

Larry and Laverne's first performance piece at their wedding in1988
Eventually, regarding marriage and relationships, I had a major shift in my thinking.  While there was clearly much good in this second marriage, there was too much struggle.  It was on one of those beautiful summer sunset walks.   In that moment I got that I deserved to be loved by someone who truly appreciated who I was and what I could do.  In hindsight, I must say that getting a clear picture of what I wanted  was working in full force when Larry Vogt came into my life.  This is the piece I read at our wedding.  The third marriage for both of us :))

May 15, 1988

Home at Last

            I have crossed over to the other side.  I feel like the pioneer woman, from the east, come up upon the frontier man, alone with four children, waiting for the feminine energy to emerge.
            “They are attracting you,” he said, “with their smiles and their sweetness.  They want you here, to be part of their life, to be part of your life.”
            The vision gets clearer and clearer.
            “The backyard will be the deciding factor,” he said, as he took me there in the light of the near full moon.  Interesting, that something, seemingly so insignificant would be so decisive.
            “You know me well,” I said as he held me tight in the moonlight.  “You know me well,” I said over and over.
            I saw in the night, the winter, drizzly night the six raised garden beds he had mentioned earlier.  One for each child and I remembered the conversation I had had with my son that we would see who could grow the best tomatoes, and the best pumpkins and he had said,  “and the best flowers.”

Johnny's first pumpkins

            “Yes, yes,” I had answered, the best flowers.  You want to grow flowers?” I questioned him softly and nodded yes moving deep into thought.
            The picket fence around the year. the bushes cascading over the fence, the covered patio next to the garage, the porch swing waiting for lovers to swing.  “Yes, yes, dear Larry, the backyard was the deciding factor.  I can live here forever now.  I can see that I have, as you say, come home.  Come home at last.  Come home to the rich life.  

The Rich Life:  Larry, Laverne, Nightsnow and Johnny cooking and cleaning

 The children smiling, running, playing.  The once chaos of their activity has become symphonic, rising and ebbing, the softening and trickling, then purring.  I have come home to the cleaning and crying and laughing and gardening the sewing and reaping and painting and mellowing, the cooking and tasting, the feeling and touching. 
            I am home.

Johnny, porch swing and flowers

No comments:

Post a Comment